Friday, 3 January 2014

“But I’m Red... and SHINY!”

There are siren songs emanating from the bottom drawer of the desk. You know – where the party is. Where Red is.

So this has been my day:

Bottom Draw (BD): Yoo hoo!
Me: Go away
BD: Yooooooo hoooooooooo!!!!!!!!
Me: I’m perfectly happy in the turquoise Baroque. Go away!
BD: But I’m Red... and SHINY!!!!
Me: I SAID, go away!
BD: But I’m Red... and SHINY!!!!
Me: I have got a perfectly good size of organiser that is working well for me. Shush
BD: Is it red?
Me: No, but it’s—
BD (interrupting): is it shiny?
Me: No, but it’s—
BD (interrupting): So, it’s not red and it’s not shiny?
Me: No, but I have spent a whole DAY getting set up and writing in stuff—
BD (interrupting... again): but it’s not red and it’s not shiny??????????
Me: NO! It’s turquoise. And if I want a change I have the same thing in pink. Or similar in wine. Or brown. Or black
BD: is it A6?
Me (resigned and rolling eyes): no...
BD: but you SAID you loved A6
Me: I know
BD: you SAID A6 was a better height-width ratio for you
Me (sighing): I know
BD: I’m A6...
Me: I know
BD: and red
Me (more resigned): I know—
BD: and SHINY!!!!
Me: You know that I know all that
BD: so, get me out of here and fill me up and use me
Me: I’m very happy in the Baroque you know. And actually, you’re not really any smaller
BD: but I’m Red—
Me (trying to interrupt): and your card-slots are fiddly
BD: and shiny—
Me (still trying to interrupt): and you don’t have a zippy purse
BD: You know, all I’m hearing is blah, blah, blah...
Me: please be quiet. I’m trying to write
BD: I’ll be quiet if you use me
Me: I’m going to stay in a personal size all year, so you might as well give up trying to persuade me otherwise

[short silence]

BD: ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

4 comments:

  1. This is hilarious! Thank you so much! I love the way you write.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I had fun writing it (and have avoided the siren songs so far...)

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  2. Great post.
    And I have the same thoughts every few month.

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